Epiphany
by dragon of fallen souls
Summary: Minako must deal with the true. Rei must stay in control.Ami must stop. And Makoto must grow up. 4 and 5 up.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own the Characters or the World._

_Story: Minako has to deal with the truth. Rei as to stay in control. Ami has to stop. Makoto has to grow up. The inners have to do something or the long road will be painful._

_Warnings: shoujo-ai, drugs, het, swearing_

_A/N: This started by me just writing down what ever came to my mind, so my mind wondered…_

Epiphany

**Minako**

_Minako, Minako can you come out to play?_

_Minako, Minako what do you have to say?_

_Minako, Minako where did your love go?_

I wish they would just stop it. How pathetic. _Oh I love you. No I love you more._ Blah. How cheesy. Like this is really necessary. We all know that they love each other. They're destined for goddess' sake! She goes to kiss him on the check and I gag turning away. The perfect pair. The perfect love.

"Ok you two can stop that." I hear the _Warrior _of our group speak up. Obviously she was just as deeply _un_moved by the displayed. Of course the reason are slightly different. Like who believes you can get cuddies at this age!

"I'm hungry…" the _Scientist _of the table spoke so suddenly and oddly weird. I turn to her see her thumbing threw the menu, nibbling on her opposite thumb hungry. It has seemed that the young ward has found other habits.

"Don't overly do it like meatball head." The _Mystic_ of the clan spoke with a jest yet with underlined pain. I could see why and for some reasons that stung.

where did your love go?

**Rei**

_Rei, Rei how's the weather up there?_

_Rei, Rei are you going to the fair?_

_Rei, Rei why are you sad?_

This is the worst ever. No it does not have to be enough that the god's play tricks on me, but this is crazy! Like I'm just going to do everything and anything for her. I'm not a puppet! Letting her _borrow _my manga is one thing but for her to "sneak" them out of my room is another matter. I won't even be here if I had finished the damn manga.

"What are you doing here?" She is surprised to see me. At this moment, I don't remember what I came went there for. I'm blinking at her in confusion. She still is standing there and I forget that I'm the one who made this meeting.

"Whose at the door honey?" The deep voice came from with in the apartment. I forgot many things and one being that there was another soul in this red ribbon chain. One that is more important.

why are you sad?

**Ami**

_Ami, Ami what's your story?_

_Ami, Ami why don't you come down?_

_Ami, Ami may you just go away?_

Last time. This is the last time. Just once more. One more then no more. Who em I trying to fool. Just my self. I do not do that very well. It has seemed as though I can fool everyone else.

I really don't like being here. All alone: yet not. I'm trying to write as the words move around on the page. This is unexpected because nothing of altering properties has entered my system today. I hear the music from the dorm above me. I can hear the synchronized muffled thud.

So I tell my self just one more time, this time I believe it could happen, if only once. Then if that happens it won't be true.

may you just go away?

**Makoto**

_Makoto, Makoto have you lost something?_

_Makoto, Makoto is there more?_

_Makoto, Makoto what are you running from?_

One two three… One two three… My feet padded against the ground, in a rhythm. Quiet peacefully. I see people running by, not paying attention to me. Which is what I really don't care about. The days have all been running together. I keep remembering things that mean nothing.

Over and over again. Seeing the same thing. Something to deny because unable to think of anything else. The way her eyes where void of emotions. Void of the usual gentleness and inquiry. One two three… One two three…Not touching the food _I_ made. Sleeping on her books. Asking for people to repeat themselves.

One two three…two one three…three one two. Stop thinking. It goes: one two three…

what are you running from?

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_A/N: The poems are what their mind/heart/soul/conscious/inner child thingy is asking. I don't know if I'll continue with a full story or just leave it._


	2. Who needs love?

_Disclaimer: I don't own_

_Summary: Minako where did your love go?_

_Warning: swearing, yuri _

_A/N: This is the other piece_

Epiphany: Thoughts of the Broken-

WHO NEEDS LOVE?

Ribbons.

These bright, red ribbons dance around me. Like I could take the _golden_ scissors and snip one. One of them; the one that connects my love to another. I wish I couldn't see them. In a metaphoric sense, I can't see the ribbons. I feel them. I feel them tug at my heart. And I can feel the tug of other hearts. There is only one ribbon connected to me.

Me the Goddess of Love only has _one_ ribbon. It's like a cruel joke. Is this the master plan fate has made for us? Maybe we have to figure this out. Maybe it's just a part of the bond we all share. Well to say this sucks is the understatement of the century.

When I was in my last year of high school, it was supposed to be the best time of my life. Getting good grades. Star of the Varsity volleyball team. Even had a boyfriend. One that was _oh_ so cute!

Then one day, I was hit with a pile of stones. I noticed someone else. Someone I never even thought I would notice in this sense of desire. She smiled to me one day while sweeping away the dirt. I blush seeing that I was caught. I didn't even know I was looking. Why would I look, I have every thing I want?

Even sense that day. Great now I'm getting all wrapped up in the past. Here I was a few years later still watching. Watching as she continued to sweep away the dirt. I relax more on the steeps sighing heavily. My eyes squint as I look up to the bright blue sky.

"Is something the matter?" she questions me as she stood above me, broom still in her hand.

I should just tell her. Tell her that I'm madly in love with her and that the one she loves will never love her. Would that make her sad? Or would she be great full? That I saved her from more of heartache… If I told her about everything, everything that has to deal with this emotion of love.

"No just thought I would see how my favorite person was!" I smile joyfully jumping up stretching my arms. On the inside I wanted to choke at my own pleasantries. She says nothing as she puts the broom away. I follow her into her home with out speaking another word.

We do what we always do before the others arrive. She pushes the magazines off her bed to make it. I go to put the various items on the floor where they belong. I reach for a stuffed animal as my eyes catch something under her desk. I pause and kneel reaching to grab it. I pull it to look at it. It was a broken picture frame. Inside was a worn out photo.

This wasn't just any photo. And I knew exactly why it was in a frame.

I see a drop of water, fall onto the glass. It made a clink sound. Then two more drops fall against it. That's when I notice I'm crying. How pathetic. I'm crying over a stupid photograph. A stupid photo from high school. A stupid photo that had a cute couple. A stupid photo that had my love with her. A stupid photo that was worn because of many times it was looked at with longing. Now the stupid photo was in broken glass. I should be happy. It was forgotten about and probably thrown with anger. But I'm not.

"Mina?" she kneels before me. "What do you…" her voice echoes out. She sees the photograph. She tries to pull it from my hands. I pull back. It's not like this is some sort of proof. I always knew. I knew she always felt for her. What was so hard about it now?

"I…hate this." I speak angrily. She finally grabs the photo. Her eyes search it, looking for something. She says nothing as she takes out the photo, throwing the frame away. She grabs for another frame.

I find my hand gripping on to her. I didn't even notice I was standing next to her. I grip her harder. She tries to get out of my grip. It was like she wasn't even trying as I pull her to me. I know if she really wanted to she could over power me. She's just lax as my hands brush her stomach.

Ha, so this is all I had to do. I laugh at my self as I start to undo her robes. My breath brushing across her neck. She's still looking at that damn photo. I nib at her neck. To my pleasure she drops the photo and turns to me. Her face is in utter surprise. I smile as I get the robes loosened. My fingers again bush against her stomach but now its bear. I smile deeper as I see her blush.

"Fuck…" she whispers and brushes her hair away from her face. I start to kiss her neck that was now exposed to me.

My fingers trail up her rib cage. She exhales. It's like this is such a naivety to her. I bring my lips to her kissing her deeply with one of my hand snaking its way to her soft back. I expertly unclasp her bra. She pays no attention as she kisses me back hungrily. My hand now cups her newly exposed breast. She winces. I'm confused as to why. I look towards her breast and that when I see it.

Ha. So that's why. That's why the photo was thrown in anger. I squeeze the breast harder. She again winces. This love bite was the proof of something that should have never happened. I bite against the mark. She screams into my ear, yet makes no move to remove my teeth. I grow tired of this. I remove the rest of her clothes and push her onto her bed. She again makes no move to stop me. Not even when I pinned her hands with one of mine.

I coax her legs apart with my bare knees. I feel her heat. Now I wish I did take off my skirt. She moans against me. I laugh in to her ears. She knows. She knows and she doesn't care. I don't care. I really don't, as my hand skillfully made it's way lower. I will make her forget. Forget whom she got that damn love bite from. Because it was never a love bite.

She gasps as I enter her. This is all we as humans have. This false ecstasy we all demand for. Her legs tighten as I continue. Humans are nothing. This emotion is not real. She bites her bottom lip. I moan at the sight. She bleeds a little. Kissing her seems even harder her breaths are deeper and she pushes against me. I just want to kiss her. My hand let go of hers to hold her face still as I kiss her deeply. She brakes away from me and yells a name. It's not mine.

Who the hell needs love any way?


	3. End of th Road

  
_Disclaimer: don't own_

_Summary: Makoto what are you running from?_

_Warning: drugs, shoujo-ai kind of_

Epiphany: Thoughts of the Broken-

END OF THE ROAD…

Another failed date. Mark number 20. Not like this was anything to be proud of. It's not like everyone else has a date. Really in my group, only 4 people out 10 where going out with someone. Nothing to worry about. Then why does it not feel right?

I slam a bottle of water as I prepare to start lifting. I spend hours in my living room lifting arm weights. The music plays softly as I drown it out. I drown all of it out. I even drown out a knock at my door.

For many days I have been trying to get a hold of Ami. She hasn't responded to any of my calls. I could feel something was not right when I saw her last. There was a deep cutting sensation in my stomach. It's like bile. I drown out the taste I suddenly feel.

A few reptions later my phone rings.

"yeah…"

"It's me Mako." Ami's voice sighs.

"Where are you?"

"At you're door idiot." She sighs again. I blink in disbelief. With the phone still in my hand I make my way to the door. I open it seeing Ami tapping her foot. "Didn't believe me?" she sounds slightly hurt by this notion.

"It's just I felt you would call before you just showed up." I move to let her gain entrance to my apartment.

"Well my neighbors where having a _loud _party. I couldn't sleep so I thought to see you." She enters looking around.

"It's the middle of the night." I start to argue.

"You act like I can't tell time Mako." She reaches into her pocket pulling out a bottle. "So working out again?" she questions as she puts some pills into her mouth. Her hair violently shakes as she downs the pills.

I get that gut feeling again. She starts to put the bottle back as I take it out of her hands.

"You want some? I think you should try the white oval one. It will help with working out." She speaks so frankly. I open the bottle looking into it. All pills of shapes and sizes were contained within it.

"Ami you should stop this." I speak to her. She turns away.

"It's not going to kill me. Grow up Mako." I can feel her roll her eyes at me as she turns back to me.

"Is there some reason you're doing this?" I shake the bottle of random pills. Then taking the bottle, stuff it into my jeans packet. She sighs.

"I can always get more." She jumps onto my cubits. She waves her legs back and forth.

"I don't want you to do them any more." I state.

"You're not my keeper." She states back.

"Then I'll tell you're mother." I threaten.

"Ha. Oh no you're going to tell my mommy!" she cockily spoke. She has changed. She's not the same as she used to be. What has gotten into her? Right the _drugs_. Something must have triggered it right?

Ok drug therapy 101: find out what the cause of the drug is.

"Why do you take them?" I softly speak watching her looking around.

"They make me feel good." She spoke in earnest. Ok reform the question.

"Why did you start?" She paused at this. Her mind thinking. Her hands push against her temples.

"I don't know. I think I need time." I question with my face. She doesn't elaborate what she meant. She just jumps down. She smiles. Walking closer to me. "Come on Mako don't be this way." She coos. I feel myself laugh. Ami cooing. It never accrued to me.

Her smile deepens as the space between us shrinks. I feel her fingers dance up my thigh stopping at the pill bottle in my pocket. I stop her hand telling her with my eyes, no. She sighs and turns around.

"Ami you know I care. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't" I try to reason with her. "You can stay here the night. In the morning we can do whatever you want." I pat her head. "Just promise me that you will answer my calls."

As I speak the last of the words Ami turns back to me. I just know I have to baby sit her now. It might be hard and tiring, I need to keep her clean. I feel she can be better. She_ is _better then this.

"Fine, fine mother…" she growls. "Can we go to bed now?" she spoke in a childish voice.

I hear the birds sing in the morning sun. I reach feeling cold. No she's not there. I sigh deeply sitting up. The sun feels distant as I stand up feeling my jeans. So this is what it feels like. When you do every thing you possibly could.

When you're at the end of the road…


	4. Seeing Through Another's Eyes

_Disclaimer: don't own_ _Summary: Rei why are you sad?_ Warning: yuri, swearing Epiphany: Thoughts of the Broken- 

SEEING THROUGH ANOTHER'S EYES

"Hello?" I rushed. My ear was evaded by a high-pitched sound.

"Rei!" it was Usagi. I sigh leaning against the counter. "Whatcha doing?" I watch as my fingers wrap around the cord.

"Unlike you some people have to work." I spat. Really the girl never works. Just goes to school for a half a day and spends the rest of her time annoying me.

"Rei…" her voice makes my heart jump. The way she says my name, it makes me forget. Forget for a moment my surroundings. Forget my present life. Forget my position in this game of life. My voice cracks as I tell her I'm still here. "I was wondering would you join me tonight?"

I nod against the phone. A few moments pass before I relies she cannot see me. We make plans to go out later that night and my hands fidget the whole day. I slowly do my chores thinking of what to wear.

Finally I pull my blouse I decide to wear on, as the doorbell rings. It brings me to the present as I rush towards the door. Opening it swiftly I gasp to what she is wearing. Her hair done to perfection. Her dress fitting her so perfectly that it makes me blush. What I'm wearing is a sad comparison to hers.

She smiles at me. Waving a hand in front of my face. I blink and blush deeper as we exit the door and step down the stairs. Her heels echo on the stone. My eyes watch them go down the stairs. Click…Click… My eyes find her legs smooth. That's when I trip my self and fall down the last couple of stairs. She rushes to me. Click. Click. Click.

"Rei are you ok?" she asks in concern.

I rub my back wincing at the slight pain. I brush her hands away as I stand up. Trying to gain my pride back. She giggles. I glare.

"Even you must admit Rei it was funny." She laughs louder. My anger subsides. She is laughing her belly laugh. I do miss that laugh. She hasn't done that lately. I don't know why but as long as she does that laugh with me then everything is ok.

We take the bus to the movies. People were all around us. I paid them little mind as Usagi takes about the most trivial thing. When she speaks I find myself watching her lips. She really does emphases every word. She speaks with such emotion. She stops. I smile and nod. No I haven't heard a word you said Usa but I still love to watch you speak.

The movie goes by so fast I don't even know that it has ended until Usagi grabs my hand pulls me out of the theater.

Tonight it was so nice out we started to walk. The moon gave a peaceful light as the stars shined brightly. Tonight was perfect just like her. We made it to her apartment first. We make our way up the stairs. Then we stop at her apartment door. That's when I see something was different. Usagi was different.

She smiles. Placing her hands behind her back swaying her body. I see one strain of hair was out of place. I reach and tuck it behind her ear. My finger brush against her cheek. It's so warm. My hand was so warm on her face. I bit the corner of my lip watching her eyes close. She leans into my hand. I watch as my thumb has a mind of it's own, brushing against her lips.

I gasp as she softly bites my thumb. Yep something was different, alright. Her eyes open to look into mine. I watch without making a move as she took my hand, leading me into her apartment. I didn't even see her pull her keys out, but I heard them being dropped.

She just pulls me along as I finally see the keys recklessly left on the floor. The apartment is slightly dark. We enter her room. Her room, that I suddenly remember, was shared with someone else, as I see the pictures on the wall.

I close my eyes. I image we are somewhere else. Somewhere far away from here, where it's just us. That seems to work as she pulls me into a kiss. She smiles and I faithfully back. I take my time. I know in the back of my mind her lover won't be back for a while. Why else would she start this?

I can't let this continue. Can I? I see her unzip her dress. I watch it fall into a pool at her feet. She sits on the bed taking off her heels. I bite my lip again as she lends against the pillows. I kneel before her pulling my shirt over my head. She reaches up to remove my belt.

This is crazy. She doesn't love me. She doesn't love me, right. So why is her soft hands on my hips pushing my pants off. Why is she kissing my neck? Why is she pushing me on to my back? Why? What is this? She removes my bra. I didn't even see where it went. Next thing I know her lips are against my breast. She bites and I don't do anything. This pain is subsiding as I pull her close. I'm nuts. I must be as I reverse our positions. She gasps in debrief.

I look down at her I have no time for games. Games that she is playing with my fragile heart. Damn it. I can't believe I'm doing this. I stand up. Searching for my pants. Finding them, I put them on. She sits up, her face; I couldn't look at as I clasped my bra back on. I feel my breast cry as the material brushes against it. I pay it no mind, as I put my shirt back on.

"What the hell, are you doing Rei?" she demands.

"What does it look like?" I button my pants, tightening the belt.

I look again at her. She is still sitting on the bed, still in disbelief. A goddess among goddess', I have fallen for. Damn, I turn away trying to remain calm. I had to do this. I had to keep my head up. I watch myself growl at her as I exited her room and her apartment. It's like everything that happens to me I'm really not seeing it.

Like I'm seeing through another's eyes.


	5. Is This It?

Disclaimer: don't own Summary: Ami may you just go away? 

_Warning: drugs, het_

Epiphany: Thoughts of the Broken- IS THIS IT? 

It started a few years go. Just before the beginning of med school. I didn't even take the _gateway_. I just jump in. At first it was just a small pill. Something to say up after many nights of studying. The days seemed to be not long enough. I needed more. More time. Time to finish. I never knew what but I had to finish.

Being away from everyone makes me even more depressed. I know what causes depression. I know how to fix it. With talking and more pills. This beautiful blue pill seems to smile at me as I roll it between my fingers.

'Come on.'

It whispers to me.

'You're never alone with me'

Oh it had such a good sense of reason. I place it in my mouth. Brushing it against my teeth. I taste the bitter powder. I lean against my bed downing the drug. I wait quietly I know what's coming. I tap my hands against my knees. I look at the clock. Only a minute has passed. I stand up pacing back and forth.

I hear a knock on my door. I turn to answer it. It's some guy I met. I have already forgotten his name. That doesn't matter as he smiles to me shaking a bag in front of my face. I step back letting him in. As long as he has goodies he can stay as long as he would like.

He jumps onto my bed taking off his coat like this was _his_ place. It can be for tonight, but in the morning he will have to leave because I have school. He reaches into his baggy pulling out a pill bottle. Saying something about all the wonderful pills inside. I pay him little mind as I go into my dresser dower pulling out some cash.

I receive the bottle and he receives the money. Everyone's happy. Well almost, as I see him still sitting on my bed. I know this. He has something new he wants me to try. I take the new pill and pop it. I lay down next to him. The first pill starts to go threw my system. I wiggle my hands in front of my face. I have ten fingers. I wiggle my toes I have ten toes. I have twenty digits. But really I have only four fingers and two thumbs.

I hear the phone ring in the distance and pay it little mind. There was something about the phone though. I just can't remember. My "_drug dealer"_ for the night pats my head in a playful manner. The pat echoes in my head. It is also safe.

I close my eyes feeling the room around be disappearing into just movement. My desk lamp bounces in a fast motion. My door wiggles side to side. My chair moves exotically. And my bed rolls like the ocean. It's so peaceful.

I woke a few hours later. I notice I'm still on my bed. Flashes of what happened entered my mind. I can't believe I did that. It doesn't matter as I smile to the pill bottle. The bottle responded by rolling off my desk. I'm confused for a second then I hear a hard pound. So that's why I woke.

I roll onto the floor. What a soft floor I have. And it smells so nice. The floor echoes. Oh that's right the door. I reach for it. It's not coming any closer. Why isn't it? I stretch further. Darn. It didn't want to be opened oh well. I close my eyes. I feel a rush of air against my hair.

"Ami!" I hear some one yell in the distant. "Ami…stay with me." The room grows dark. I hear the faint sounds of sirens in the back round. Are they coming for me? Am I dying? I feel light. That's when I see the _light._ No it can't end this way.

Is this it?

A/N: So was it pain full? I wanted to get their own styles of telling stories…so anyway… like it, hate it?


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